Knowldege Of The Krell

That's life

2009-01-07T09:32:00.003-05:00

"That's life." That's what some people say about getting a flat tire. Other people might say, "That sucks". If A = B, and A = C, then maybe B = C.

After finishing work yesterday evening, I walked outside into an ice storm to find that my car had a flat tire. My boss helped me get the car up on the jack, remove the flat tire and put on the spare. Thank you, Matt! Then I spent two hours taking surface roads back home, partly because the spare had to be kept under 35 mph and partly because the roads were all covered with ice. B = C. But at least I learned how to change a flat, which seems like Knowledge of the Krell to me.

Basic home electronicalness

2007-10-29T21:23:00.000-04:00

Recently, flipping the light switch in the basement stopped working. That is, the lights stayed off. Did you ever hear of a light switch breaking? Well, there was no calling Maintenance, so that meant a drive out to the home improvement store. Anne came along. As she often does upon arrival, Anne pointed out the absurdity of having 16 handicapped parking spaces at a DIY store. I managed to find the one 3" x 12" cardboard bin in the store that held the thingy I was looking for. Walking back to the car, Anne suggested that an insurance fraud specialist would do well to park near the handicapped spaces at DIY stores.

Back home I had to cut power to the problem switch: safety first! Having a broken switch made this challenging - it's hard to tell if you've hit the right breaker when the lights are already off because the switch is broken. I found a lamp to plug into a wall outlet hoping it was wired together with the lights. Now, which breaker? The breakers were labeled "General", "AC", etc. Two said "Kitchen". So it was trial and error. Click off/on - the microwave upstairs beeped. A different one, off/on - the telephone said, "Press TIME to set DAY/TIME." And so it went, shutting down the refrigerator, the computer(s), etc. until breaker #13 of 14 did the trick. I was ready to start. Oh, except it was dark in there. I found enough extension cord to reach a working outlet, and another little lamp, and I was set.

Instructions for the new switch were printed on translucent onionskin paper, double-sided, in eight languages. They referred to four different colored wires - all the wires going to (coming from?) the bad switch were black. So I held my new switch in front of the old one, lined up the screws, and moved each wire, one at a time, to the new switch. This part took less than 5 minutes, and it worked perfectly. After cutting the breaker back on, I clicked my new switch repeatedly ON, OFF, ON, OFF. Very satisfying. I spent the next 10 minutes putting away lamps, extension cords, screw driver, and pliers, feeling a newfound kinship with Nikola Tesla.

Krell Technology on Earth

2007-10-17T20:34:00.000-04:00

How else to explain this incredible structure? I have been here - I have seen it. When I was a child, my father would bravely drive the family out to see this place. It's located in remote Geauga County, far from the prying eyes of Cleveland suburbanites.

Although shrouded in mystery for years, diligent research (and a recent article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer) finally shed some light on this curious location. It is the world headquarters for the elite and exclusive "Materials Information Society". (!) Beneath the dome, designed and built by R. Buckminster Fuller, lie large specimens of Earth minerals and ores, arranged in a circle. The geodesic dome itself is made of joined hexagons of pure extruded aluminum - except for one pentagon at the very top of the dome!

You will remember that at the end of "Forbidden Planet", Robby (the Krell robot) is brought back to earth with lovely Altaira and the rest of the crew. Ever wonder what happened to Robby after he landed? That was 1956. This structure was built just three years later! Coincidence? You be the judge!

On deaf ears

2007-09-09T16:47:00.000-04:00

The products we make where I work all have jazzy names, you know, like cars. Names like "Avanto" and "NV Speeder" etc. I learned Friday that one model no longer in production was the "Altair II". I know it's pretty obscure even as trivia, but it made me think of Altair IV, home planet of the Krell. So I mentioned something about that to some engineers. They didn't get it, had never heard of Forbidden Planet. I further explained, "You know, the one with Robby the Robot?" Still only blank stares. Sigh.

Feeling a little like the Krell myself some days.

You are all interested in the future

2007-08-25T20:49:00.000-04:00

Here's an eerily prophetic short story written about a hundred years ago. A time when Modren Technology took the threatening form of: the telephone. (Yes, the first radio broadcast was still 10 years off, the first TV broadcast 20 years away, and the Internet explosion 90 years in the future.) The Machine Stops. A truly visionary and haunting work - very highly recommended.

Nostradamus, you've been served!

Mighty Mightor

2007-08-21T20:28:00.000-04:00

Feelin' pretty good about my new desktop! Software fairly leaps to the screen when I need it. The case is well ventilated, so I hear the fans and two hard drives more than I did on the Old Machine. On the other hand I'm not used to having the unit up here on my desk next to the monitor either. I've burned a few DVDs (recovery discs) and they took about as long as my old machine did to burn a CD. The Internet experience is about the same, being bounded more by my ISP speed than my machine. All in all this should hold me for several years. Once I'm sure I've got everything I need I will start clearing the drives on the old machine and give it to Anne. It's still running great and should have many more years left running WinXP.

The Machine Starts

2007-08-16T20:50:00.000-04:00

It's here! My first computer purchase since my "80286" IBM PC clone in 1982. It's a beauty too. I've only put in a couple hours with it so far because it's a pain to move my monitor cable from one machine to the other, but Vista is pretty snazzy looking. I spent some time yesterday uninstalling some of the junkware that came loaded on the machine. Maybe tonight I will create my recovery discs, or try connecting it to our network and the Internet. For now not much to report other than it is Deluxe. In case you want to check specs, look up HP model m8120n.

The Future Of Computing

2007-08-11T22:51:00.000-04:00

This historic photo shows a Krell technician carefully programming the great Krell Machine over a thousand centuries ago. Either that or it shows me creating this post on my Dell Optiplex Computor, featuring a 0.5 GHz Pentium III central processing unit.

But the future marches on, for today I've commissioned the construction of a New Computor. Yes! Thanks to a pledge drive spear-headed by Anne, I should have a new machine delivered to me by my birthday! (Details to follow after I actually get it running, but it will be powered by an Intel Core-2 Quad processor @ 2.4 GHz per core.) (Yes! The number 10 raised almost literally to the power of infinity!) Thanks to those who made this project possible!

My Cell Phone And Me

2007-08-09T20:06:00.001-04:00

Well I tell you. I still hate cell phones. I know it's 2007 and everyone luhh-huhh-huhvz their cell phone. But no one I want to talk to ever calls me. You will say, "Ya, that's because you never have your cell phone turned on!" But if I do turn it on, people call for Eddy or Margaret or just to talk about some loan offer, etc. So I have to turn it off, and then my loved ones cannot call me, but I still get calls from everyone else. I had my phone off for 2 days and missed 14 calls and got 10 voice mails, not one of them for me. BTW, my VM greeting does not say, "Yes! I am the one you are calling, go ahead please". And my work cell - obviously only people I do not wish to talk to ever call that number. I can't wait until we can all communicate telepathically like that great but tragic race on Altair IV - when I will think, "How do I hang up telepathically?"

"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

A Chair For Ben

2007-08-05T16:24:00.000-04:00

My chair was broken when I got it from Tom, and he got it second-hand. By now it had become a risky bet to use it at all - broken springs and wires are a constant pain, not to say health hazard. About four months ago I bought a replacement chair for $25. It was broken too, but in a different, safer way: two of five metal legs had their tips broken off (not Krell metal), leaving jagged points digging into the carpet. On top of that, the thing turned out to be saturated with tar and nicotine. Having completed a quarantine period in the basement, it was finally time to get the chair into service.

Using my artificially-boosted brain power (thanks Morbius!), a pair of common pliers (thanks Grandpa Fischer!), and a battery-powered screwdriver (thanks Jules!), I set to work. I swapped the working "legs/swivel/rock" mechanism from my old chair to my "new" chair in just 15 minutes. Result: one like-new chair for me, and one wrecked chair ready for the curb lawn. Ain't life sweet.

The Last Flapper You Will Ever Buy!

2007-08-04T22:30:00.000-04:00

This vaguely menacing brag (or warning?) drew me in for a closer look at the toilet-related widget shown here, (bottom, center). Dubbed "The Forever Flapper", and marked, "Easy to Install", I selected it from the vast array of plumbing thingies at the local Drug Mart. My assignment: get our toilet to stop making tinkly, dribbly, running water noises. I brought some tools into the bathroom, took the lid off the toilet tank, and steeled myself for disappointment. But in just five minutes I had found the problem (a warped flapper, hooray - I'd picked the right doo-dad), removed the part, popped the new one in, and re-attached the chain between flush lever and flapper. Voila! A silent toilet and no plumber required. I [heart] my Forever Flapper.